For as long as I can remember, I have always been a “pork pie.” The only time I think I was not big was when I was born. I was 7 pounds 8 ounces and I think it was the only time I was ever smaller than my sister. She was 8 pounds 9 ounces:) I held that over her head in my mind for a long time.

I have many sad and vivid memories of being an overweight kid. I remember countless times family members would throw away second helpings at dinner for fear that I would become fatter. At the young age of 6 or 7, after expressing my deepest desire to do ballet, an uncle told me that “fat girls don’t do ballet.” And, to this day, I still have not EVER done ballet. In 5th grade I had to wear a bra and my stomach hung out of every tshirt I owned. Fearful that I would never have a boyfriend, people would tell me “well Em, guys are visual people. Maybe if you lost weight you would have a boyfriend.” I am finding this out now that this is simply not to be the case. Case and point:still single…happily single, but single none the less.

Through all of these upsets and put downs in my younger years, it bred raging insecurities which resulted in the abuse of diet pills, anorexia and bulimia and myriad of self destructive thinking and speaking about myself.

If I wasn’t starving myself, I was eating gorging myself on a ton of the most horrible of foods. Some of my personal favorites were cheese I would put in the microwave and burn it to a crisp, or potato bread and mayonnaise. Ugh I gag now just thinking about the horrible habits I had, but food, or the lack of food was the only thing that I had control over. My life was at the mercy of others, but food was at the the mercy of me.

These destructive behaviors perpetuated into a destructive lifestyle. I was not happy, but HAD to have a smile on my face because “people already hate fat people, so to be an angry fat person puts you at a huge disadvantage.” I hid behind smiles but was rotting inside. I felt like a birthday cake cooked on the outside and looked delicious until you cut into it and realized that it was still raw and stuffed with dog poop.

It was not until after I finished college that I really began to realize that my life had HUGE potential, but being so heavy, it was impossible to do most things. I had flown overseas many times on missions trips with church only to realize that I took up 2 seats and needed a seat extender. I had broken countless lawn chairs, bore the bruises on my hips from metal chairs that were too small. I prayed every time I got into a car that the seat belt would actually fit.

After slowly but surely realizing that my identity was not in my body, but knew that my desire to be healthy needed to take precedent over my life, I knew that Gastric Bypass Surgery was the right option for me. I had tried all other diets and knew that I needed the quick jump start into the rest of my life. I knew that it was not the “quick fix” that everyone talked about, but knew I needed help. I knew this would be quite an undertaking but knew I had to make it possible.

After 6 months of psych evals, ultrasounds, support meetings, health screenings, blood tests and a gamut of other things, it was time to go! So on December 28th, 2009 I had gastric bypass surgery. It was the beginning to my new life. A life of happiness, changes, and inspiration.

Two months after my surgery, I joined rejoined the gym, got a personal trainer and started working my butt off. 10 months later and 130 pounds down I started running. Not just a quick run either….I RAN for the first time in a long time and began training for a 5K through the Couch to 5K program.

January 2011, I completed my first 5K and March 2011, I ran a 10k and I am still at it. In July 2011 I will be running a 15K and will complete a 1/2 marathon September 2011. My goal is by the end of 2012 to have completed a full marathon!

Though I have overcome obstacles of loving myself, eating heathly, exercising, I have one final obstacle standing in my way. Since losing over 160 pounds, the unfortunate reality is that I have A LOT of extra skin. About 20-25 pounds to be exact. This puts such a hinderance on my ability to run and exercise to my full potential.

I have 15 pounds of excess skin around my midsection alone that causes back pain and difficultly when running. It is sweaty, heavy, and it sloshes and claps louder than a full audience giving a round of applause. :)

I know that I could be a better runner and better athlete if this skin was removed. The problems is this, I do not have $15,000 to cover the surgery of a body lift to remove the excess skin around my midsection. So at this point in my life….I sit and wait. I wait and work for the money. I patiently remember how far I have come and how much more happy I am that I have the ability to run, though I wish it were less painful.

So there it is my friends: My Story.  I am no where near done. This is just the beginning of the story of LIFE:) Enjoy the ride.